From the Lectionary for 2 July 2023 (Proper 8A)

Matthew 10:37-42 (NRSV Updated Edition)

“Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever does not take up the cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Those who find their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it.

“Whoever welcomes you welcomes me, and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. Whoever welcomes a prophet in the name of a prophet will receive a prophet’s reward, and whoever welcomes a righteous person in the name of a righteous person will receive the reward of the righteous, and whoever gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones in the name of a disciple—truly I tell you, none of these will lose their reward.”

~

"This is a text which at least some of us will have heard in a very nasty binary way in the past and I'm hoping to do something with that with you today. ... You will perhaps know people whose extremely religious parents have completely rejected their daughters or sons on discovering that they are gay or lesbian simply on the grounds that they are convinced that they need to do that to follow Jesus and that Jesus is ordering them to. And then you have this line, “Anyone who does not take up his cross and follow it in my footsteps is not worthy of me.” Again this is a phrase that has been used to say to gay people: homosexuality is your cross you must take it up and follow my footsteps, meaning don't be who you are for Jesus sake. And then, even more tragically perhaps, “Anyone who finds his life will lose it anyone who loses his life for my sake will find it,” and unfortunately there are many high-ranking ecclesiastics who at some stage rather have decided that they were prepared to sacrifice who they really are on the altar of approval from other ecclesiastical higher-ups who'd done the same thing, and so they end up as people ... who have lost who they are...

"So, just to point out that the binary reading of this passage has had terrible consequences. So let's try to have a slightly less harmful look at it, and the first thing I want to point out is that what we have here is three lines concerning if you prefer someone over and above me, and then if you receive someone. So there are three 'if you prefer' and 'if you receive' and what I want to bring out is, I think, how all of these circle around the question of shame and dangerousness. ... [T]hese [are] instructions to the Twelve, to the Apostles, who are about to embark upon a life of extreme dangerousness which will lead to the martyrdom of most of them eventually. Jesus is preparing them for a life of dangerousness where they must be prepared to occupy the place of shame.

"So I would suggest that it's something more or less like this that is going on: preferring mother or father, or preferring son or daughter, means grasping onto the safe identity that is given by family structure, rather than realizing that every generation - particularly now in the modern world where the speed of the changing of the patterns of desire between generations is so much faster than in the ancient world - but that negotiating the change with the criterion other than holding on to the values of the previous generation or being eager simply to protect those of the younger generation, that the constant working through of what is really going on, what it really is to follow Jesus is going to work require constant working out of the in-between: how do I both love my intergenerational siblings - my parents - and my intergenerational siblings - my children - and what does it mean to run the risk of finding myself in a place of shame, disgrace and in actual physical danger by walking in [Jesus'] footsteps.

"This is not a question of cutting yourself off, this is a question of working through what it means, constantly working through what it means, always knowing that actually the more you grasp on something thinking that that's giving you a security, a goodness, the more dangerous that is, the more you are at risk of winning your life but actually losing yourself. Who we become is always through negotiating the in-betweens of what life in the Spirit looks like, finding ourselves being converted at every possible interstice of relationships. Very difficult, very painful, quite humiliating, and that which brings us to life.

"And then the flip side of that are the three 'anyone who welcomes' ... suggesting that here the positive side of this is going on. In the midst of what is apparently a very dangerous and shame-inspiring world, actually the one who is the fullness of glory, the one who opens us up to reality, will be received as we receive his representative Jesus in our midst. And those who receive us because they recognize that despite everything we are the bearers of something truthful, we are the bearers of something to do with life in the midst of all the closed-down, frightened, shame-rejecting structures of this world, in that degree they are receiving God through receiving us who have received Jesus. But that this is reality that is breaking through in the midst of that breakdown.

...

"In other words, Jesus is saying, "I am the in-between. As you renegotiate your in-between generationally you will come to me and the criteria will be: are you prepared to go to the place of dangerousness and follow me in what seems to be a shameful walk of abandonment and loss? In which case you will have life. Or are you going to hold on to the security and the rejection of all that? In which case you will hold on to your life and security and will never become who you really are.”

"And then he's also saying, “Receive me in the others and these are the signs that you're already on the inside. I am the in-between you and all those realities. I am the in-between.” It seems to me to be the definition of the Holy Spirit: the in-between. Jesus is preparing his disciples for when, through life in the Spirit, they will start to receive the in-between that comes from the company of prophets, just persons and disciples. Which means the enlivenment of being prepared to live in a place of shame and danger without being dominated by its fear, and so being brought to life in Christ.

"This is Jesus' instructions to his disciples, to his apostles, [and] this is his instruction to us. And I hope that we can learn to live this in-between with joy, without too much fear."

- James Alison, from video "Homily for Sunday 13 in Ordinary Time Year A" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MA6cNLQ7CE)